He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Randomize
