some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Semen is not good for contacts.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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