Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Randomize
