woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Randomize
