haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
