Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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