nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
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