Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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