I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
