So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
