In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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