I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
lets start a swedish sibling band together
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Randomize
