talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
