and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
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