So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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