Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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