do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
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