I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
