all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
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