I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
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