oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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