wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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