i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
