i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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