i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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