i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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