i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Randomize