We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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