Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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