You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
