Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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