You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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