OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
