Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Randomize
