I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
it hurts more in the daytime
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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