If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Randomize