whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
