It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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