Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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