Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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