Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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