hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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