At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
