If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
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