Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
