Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
We're too hungover to prance.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
