I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
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