Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
