We should be called the Road Head Warriors
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
