try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I am mentally ready for anal.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
