I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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