I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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