I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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