You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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