I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
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