i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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