just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Come see our sink grown plant.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Randomize
