It's just like the Real World with babies
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
