I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
