garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
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