You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
