Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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