I intend to get homeless drunk
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
My Sexting was not on an AP level
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
