I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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