Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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