Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
