that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Randomize
