erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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